By Gabbie Burton
Contributing Writer

Telling the story of love is an impossible task. Anyone who knows love knows its’ inherent uniqueness; that no two loves are ever the same. In celebration of Valentine’s Day, here are four stories about love, told from the standpoints of singlehood, coupledom, married life and widowhood, experienced by six people who live and love as we do.

Kaliyah Greene: ‘It never feels like I’m alone’ 

When 21-year-old Greene was asked about her last relationship she replied, “Do ‘situationships’ count?”

A great question that’s top of mind for the Lincoln University senior and seemingly all college students everywhere. For those who aren’t familiar, a situationship is sort of a relationship except without the definite labels, rules and clarity. 

“Situationships, in my terms, are when you’re with somebody but not with somebody. You both equally find each other attractive, or like each other, but one or both say, ‘Oh, but I’m not ready for a relationship,’” Greene explained. “At first, it’s a will they won’t they, but then it turns into a really toxic, ‘Why won’t you?’ situation and then it just ends up not good for anybody.” 

Greene shared that she feels the rise of situationships are due in part to a fear of commitment in modern dating. In an effort to avoid the pain that may come with love and monogamy, they run from it, which only ends in a different pain. 

Greene, who identifies as queer, shared that situationships and hookup culture are prevalent on the LU dating scene in both the queer and straight dynamics but that it doesn’t stop her from trying to find a real love connection. 

“I’m a hopeless romantic,” she said. “I’m friends with a lot of couples, and the way that they look at each other, the way that they are around each other, it’s like their little happiness bubble and I want that.” 

Greene shared that she’s been in love three times in the past, and although she may be single now, she doesn’t feel any shortage of love in her life. 

“Cultivating the relationship that I have with my mom has been like almost everything to me, like she’s my best friend and my closest confidant,” she said. “My friends are really there for me constantly and it never feels like I’m alone because if I’m ever going through something or need a shoulder to cry on, there’s always a friend there in my vicinity.”

Rachel and Mya: ‘I feel very safe with this person’ 

Rachel Peak and Mya Saltysiak began dating three-and-a-half years ago, and in typically Gen Z fashion, the relationship began over Snapchat.

“I just told her she looked pretty,” Peak said, before asking her on a date.

The pair originally met while Peak was a freshman and Saltysiak was a sophomore in health class at Oxford Area High School. They were “acquaintances” through high school but didn’t get together until the pair was in college -- Saltysiak at West Chester University and Peak at Shippensburg University. 

Beginning a new relationship at 18 and 20 as a long-distance couple (Peak lives in Greencastle, Pennsylvania and Salysiak in Oxford) was intimidating, but they both knew there was something special happening they wanted to protect. 

“I remember a month into Rachel and I dating,” Saltysiak said. “I was in the living room with my mom, and I started sobbing to her. Statistically, relationships that start this young don’t always last and I was terrified of the potential of us breaking up and we had only been dating for a month and then I thought, ‘Oh, it’s probably something really real.’”

Those initial feelings of love were new and overwhelming for the couple but quickly became unavoidable.

“I think it was a gradual developing of a connection, the feeling of, ‘I feel very safe with this person, and I feel very myself,’” Peak said. “I hate to be that person who says, ‘When you know, you know,’ but I had a visceral reaction that I felt in my stomach and chest.”

In addition to sharing their story of love, the couple also opened up about the fears they have as a queer couple.

“We’ve had a lot of talks about fears that we have in our present political climate, so that’s a struggle for us,” said Saltysiak. “If they were to outlaw gay marriage, would it be better to get married before that happens? Or would that put a target on our back and make us more vulnerable?” 

Peak described feelings of anger and exhaustion that she has to fear for their safety in public.

“Mya will often reach for my hand and I’ll hold it for two seconds and then I’ll see somebody come out of a building, and I don’t get to perceive this person before they are approaching us, so I will drop [her hand] because, I don’t know,” Peak said. “I would just love to know what it’s like to be in the brain of somebody who doesn’t have to be constantly worrying about being hate-crimed or just perceived in a bad way all the time, because it’s exhausting.”

While the added fears of dating as a queer couple certainly weigh heavy, the couple doesn’t let it overrun their joy and love for each other. Eventually, they plan to move in together in the Oxford area, begin an engagement and commit to not “living in fear.”

“I think it’s very important to recognize all the work that our queer elders have done for us and furthered the movement,” Peak said. “They didn’t do all that work for nothing, and I think that we will survive whatever happens.”

Jessie and Soren: Hand-written letters 

For Jessie Mooberry and Soren Rubin, their relationship has always been uniquely on their own terms. From friends, spouses, business partners and now parents, the couple has always been doing things their way and succeeding at it. 

The 33-year-old couple owns Farmer and Co., a bakery and cafe in Unionville which opened in 2021 out of a desire to create a “community meeting place” in Mooberry’s hometown. Their love story, however, extends way back to high school at George School in Bucks County. 

Mooberry friend zoned Rubin for nearly a decade, including attending prom together as “just friends,” until about seven years ago when the couple reconnected. 

“It was very romantic,” Mooberry said. “It was at a train station in Philadelphia, and we had coffee, and I think we both knew that it was quickly becoming serious, but during a time of electrified, digital dating, we didn’t want our relationship to be digital, so we started sending each other hand-written letters.”

“We met in our late twenties, and we just arrived at a place of, ‘Okay, this either is going to be the thing or it’s not so let’s try and give it a go,’ and we were both just all in from the beginning,” Rubin said. 

Their strategy worked. As to how they recognized it was love, “You just know it when you know it,” Rubin explained. He moved to join Mooberry in San Francisco where she was living at the time, and they remained there for five years before returning home and getting married in 2020. The couple now have a one-year-old daughter and shared the importance of maintaining a romantic relationship even with the added chaos of raising a child. 

“The challenge is that to have a strong marriage, you have to give time and energy to it to continue to build it and when you have a child, you have no time and you have no energy," Rubin said. "Carving out magical additional time and energy to focus on your marriage is a challenge. I think it can be done if you’re intentional about it, but it doesn’t come naturally.” 

The couple emphasized the work needed to maintain any relationship and recognized the fear that comes with being completely vulnerable with another person. That intentional effort on their relationship is what gives them the support they need to maintain a happy, full life together.

“I feel just so gifted to have a partner who gives me the space to grow myself and change,” Mooberry said. “I try to reciprocate that, but I think that we all change so much as we move through life and to have a partner who can approach those changes with patience and curiosity, I think, is really important.”

Donna Melton: ‘…because you never stop missing them’ 

Donna and Dennis Melton began dating in 1981 and married three years later. The couple spent 31 years married together, which Donna credits to two major characteristics of their relationship. The first, was simply described as being, “unconditional.”

“You have to live it to get it,” Donna said. “We both were committed to being part of something bigger than ourselves.”

The second is separate interests, something that Donna feels saved her after unexpectedly losing Dennis – an architect, musician and community organizer – in May of 2021. 

“I had this epiphany, if I let Dennis do what makes him happy which was making music, then I had to figure out what made me happy, and then you can come back together and share that growth,” Donna explained. “I will never stop missing Dennis, but by being able to pursue my own things and stand on my own feet, I’ve been able to take on challenges.”

While Donna’s independent pursuits, including watercolor painting and supporting the Kennett Square community, have been an immeasurable help through her grief, she also shared feelings of premonition leading up to his death that she is now grateful for. 

“About six months or so before he died, I had insomnia,” she said. “I was one of those people who would get up and play crossword puzzles or something and then crawl back into bed and just hold his hand."

“There was a voice in my head telling me, ‘Pay attention and do this now because you won’t always have this.’ It was one of the best gifts that the universe has ever given me.” 

Although Donna feels lucky for the special last moments with her husband and the coping mechanisms she has developed, she also opened up on how difficult the experience of losing a partner always is. 

“The grief journey is never an easy one,” she said. “It is like being on a really roiling sea and you never get over it but you need to manage it. The way that it comes back and hits you from time to time without any warning is what you learn to manage, because you never stop missing them.”

While in their relationship, Donna and Dennis shared their love through music, cooking, community service, quality time together and raising their son, Michael, but when the partner you once directed all your love at is now gone, where does the love go? For Donna, she focuses on continuing and protecting Dennis’ legacy. 

“I will never be the extrovert he was, but I will do everything that I can to foster his involvement with the community,” she said. “Figuring out what my impact is, and the level of my involvement, is kind of my path now. You have to figure out how to build a life and figure out what it takes, and it takes a long time."

“I’ve done the Widow Melton, but who is Donna?”

To contact Contributing Writer Gabbie Burton, email [email protected].