Margaret, a 15-year-old sophomore high school student, sat across the dinner table from her parents one recent evening at their home in southern Chester County. Passing the mashed potatoes, she asked them what they believe are the most important qualities a person should have.

Dignity and humility, Margaret’s father said. Kindness and sincerity, her mother answered. Margaret then asked her parents what qualities they wish to see in her. 

“Well, those four, certainly, but there are so many more,” Margaret’s mother said. “We’ve always tried to teach you to put others before yourself and to treat others with respect.”

“To think before you speak, because the words you choose will end up defining who you are in others’ eyes,” the father said. “Say something stupid, and those words stick with you. They remain forever. You can’t take them back.”

After a few moments of silence – when all that could be heard was the tinkle of silverware on plates – Margaret asked her parents if these same qualities are what they look for in their leaders. “Absolutely,” her father said. “I want to know that the politician I vote for isn’t going to say stupid things, do stupid things or put anyone in danger on account of their actions.”

“Okay, Dad” Margaret said. “Then will you please tell me why there are seven Trump signs in our front yard?”

After a long pause, Margaret’s father said, “That’s different.”

“How is it different?” Margaret responded. “If you want to me to have dignity and humility and kindness and not say horrible things about other people, then why can’t you ask for the same in the leaders you support? Dad, it was you who put those signs out. Why is it all of a sudden not important now? Isn’t that hypocritical?”

The pause that followed Margaret’s question was large enough for an imaginary truck to drive through it. Margaret’s mother left the table, but before doing so, tilted her head toward her husband as if to say, Answer your daughter. 

Now alone at the table with her father, Margaret asked him if he thought it was acceptable for someone pursuing the Presidency of the United States to mastermind an attempted overturning of an election result. She asked him if it is acceptable for a U.S. President to openly worship Fascist dictators. She asked him if it is acceptable to support a man who has been accused by 16 women of various forms of sexual assault. She asked him if it is acceptable for a U.S. President to degrade the U.S. Constitution. She asked him if it is acceptable for a U.S. President to call his opponent “stupid,” “low IQ” “lazy,” “dumb” and “mentally impaired.” She asked him if it is acceptable for a U.S. President to imply that if elected he would unleash the military on U.S. citizens who disagree with him -- those he refers to as “the enemies within.”

Margaret’s father pushed away his dinner plate, looked in his daughter’s eyes and said, You are correct. It is not acceptable. 

“Not a day goes by when I do not tell your mother, ‘I really wish he would clean it up,’” he said. “He says and does stupid things, but I also know what is at stake for the future of this country, and in this particular election I have no other choice but to overlook Trump’s indecencies because I am fearful that our national identity is falling apart. I am afraid that our economy is failing, that our jobs are being shipped overseas and that our current system of immigration is abysmal, and so I believe that the best person to address these issues is Donald Trump.”

Margaret and her father continued their conversation at the dinner table – two people of differing viewpoints. They dug deep into the vortex of what it means to be American, what our country’s purpose is in the global conversation, and what mattered more, in this election and in the next four years: Country or Conduct.

When Margaret woke up the next morning for school, she noticed the blank back side of a cardboard poster propped up at her desk and turned it over. It read Harris-Walz, and attached to it was a note.
“Democracy is hard but it’s also worth fighting for, and that’s just what you and I are doing – by virtue of our differing beliefs -- to save it. Continue to question.  Continue to fight for what you believe in. Our conversations have just begun. Love, Dad.”

After downing a bowl of cereal, Margaret left her family’s home and jabbed the Harris-Walz sign into the front yard, ahead of the seven Trump signs, and then walked to the school bus stop.